Just For Youth

Just For "YOU "th

If you are reading this page then something in your life is wrong or you want to prevent something from going wrong.  Another day at school and another day full of taunts, laughs, name calling, physical roughness, rejection, fear, sadness, betrayal, abandonment, isolation, loneliness, insults....BULLYING!
It's hard to believe it is still going on....  You did everything you were told to do; spoke with your parents, spoke with the teacher, spoke with the counselor, spoke with the principal...and maybe even law enforcement.  You are totally "SPOKED OUT."  And still, nothing has changed.
You feel worthless, alone and out of ideas.  Your bedroom is now your favorite place because no one can hurt you there.  Even your computer and cell phone have become enemies after all the things others have written about you....things that you are certain everyone has read!!  How do you face your friends, classmates....others?!

Hold on for just one moment!!
Read on and see if any of this makes sense....

In between all the bullying and the hurt that it is causing you, have you taken a few minutes to think about the people doing the bullying?  I MEAN REALLY THOUGHT about them?  In what way are they perfect?  Why are their opinions so important to you?  When did you give them control over your life?  Who gave them a license to judge YOU?  Why should their opinions rule your entire life?  Why are they more important than YOU?

Kind of silly questions - maybe!  But questions that you must ask yourself as you get through this.  And YOU WILL get through this!

Now let's talk about the people who DO care about you.
Parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, siblings, friends, teachers.
If they truly care about you....do you think, for one minute, that they are listening to - or even believing these bullies?  And don't these people know you much better than the bully?  They love you for who you are!!  Their lives would never be as rich or as good if they did not have you in their life.

There is a saying about bullies;  A bully will try to put your "light" out so that theirs shines brighter.  Sadly, it is the only way they make themselves look good - or think they look good, in front of others.  The only way they can keep so-called "friends" around them is through fear, aggression and intimidation.  I hardly think that is true friendship!

After reading all of this, I understand that the problem...the fear...the sadness, has not necessarily gone away.  And to be truthful, it might not go away for some time.  But you MUST believe me when I say that IT WILL go away eventually.  This troublesome time WILL pass.  I could tell you to "get tough" and let all these things roll off your back like water on a duck.  But there are things that even bothers the strongest of people.  No one wants to be treated badly.  YOU are NO different than the rest of us.  Unfortunately you feel as though YOU are the only one going through this.  NOT SO.  Statistics prove that 160,000 kids PER DAY, stay out of school for fear of bullying.  SO you are not alone.  There are many of us who have been in your shoes.

So how did we get through those times?  How did we deal with it?

I can only speak for myself, but I got through it by using several tools.

1.) I did not allow the bullies to have power over me!  By thinking seriously about them, I realized that they were really no better than me!
 
2.) I would not let their words define who I was!  I knew I was a good
person, I knew I had friends and family who cared about me!  So what they said or what they called me was totally out of meanness and not true at all.

3.) I went in search of one or two people who I knew cared about me.  I think for me, it was a teacher and an Aunt.  As busy as they were, they took the time I needed to talk with them about the bullying and how it made me feel.  No, they could not make it go away....but just having them care enough to listen to me, gave me strength and the ability to get through another day.

4.) I kept busy!!  Boy did I ever keep busy!  I grew up on a farm and around animals all my life.  The very things I was bullied for - smelling like animals when I came to school because morning chores took me out to the barn to feed and clean after the animals, was the very thing that helped me rid my mind of the bullying for awhile.  I would ride my horses, walk and talk with my dogs and just basically kept busy.  Certainly there are things you enjoy that you can also do to keep your mind off the bullying.  I was raised at a time that had no cell phones, therefore no texting.  We had no computers, therefore no Facebook or Myspace, so thankfully I could not immediately see or read what others were saying about me.  Sometimes the very things that give us enjoyment, like staying in touch with friends, can be the things that bring us sadness too!  Think about giving your time on the computer or your cell phone a rest.  Try new things, new hobbies, to keep occupied and away from the useless gossip people will spread just because they have nothing better to do with themselves!

AND FINALLY:  We do not know each other.  I do not know what you are going through - although I can imagine.   When I say we CARE...I mean...we CARE!  In fact, we care enough to share a phone number with you.

We at Bullying Hurts have just created what we call;

"OUR CARE-LINE" 

307/287-6711
or
bullyinghurts@aol.com

This Care-Line was created for YOU. Not parents, not teachers, not adults.
IF you would like to speak with me or Starvin' Marvin, we would love to
hear from you and it is up to you, what we talk about.  No pressure.
Keep in mind that we really don't care WHY you are being bullied.
We only care that it is hurting YOU! 
  Write us anytime - 24/7.  Together, we can discuss how you can deal
with these bullies and how they are making you feel.
 
That's just what friends do, and you do have friends!

Stay strong and believe in yourself, 
Darlene Nash